Our Take: Behind Many Great Musicians is a Strong Woman

Earlier this week, I learned that Inge Dulfer, Candy’s mom, passed after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. From the photo below, it is easy to see from where Candy’s beauty came. Though Inge has not sailed with us for several years, she was a regular companion on The Smooth Jazz Cruise for a long time. I always thought that she was as smart and as funny as she was lovely, which is saying a lot. She was always impeccably fashionable and put together, another trait handed down to Candy. She was amazing. Her love and dedication to her talented daughter only enhanced her stature in my eyes.

Though unfamiliar with the childhood and maturing process of Candy, it was always my impression that Inge was the strong, but basically quiet, voice in her ear. I never saw her get upset with Candy or do anything that would cause her grief, but, every once in a while, I would catch Inge with a stern look and gaze that spoke volumes. As I said above, I loved watching her size up a crowd or a person. Unlike most of us, she knew that learning required listening, not talking.

Corine Duke, wife of the great George Duke, was another of my favorite behind-the-scenes jazz ladies. Another amazing class act. Always on point. Never flustered. She formed the foundation of all that George was and would accomplish.

I have told the story several times of how George came to be the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval for our cruises. Back in the day, the cruise industry was beset with amateur, even disreputable, promoters. Even those who were trying to do it right lacked the knowledge and experience to do so. As a result, it was difficult to rope in an A-Lister for a cruise.

An agent friend talked George into sailing with us. It went very well and, from that day on, whenever a musician questioned our bona fides, we told them to talk to George. It was magic. What I came to learn, many years later, was that it was Corine who anointed us as being “okay.”

What was important to her was how her husband was treated. Too often, she claimed, promoters would view the musicians as machines. When she saw how we cherished our time with George and were willing to make his time on the ship lovely (and hers as well), she gave us her approval.

Then there are the Bassists Three. No one calls them that, of course, but Brenda Miller (Marcus), Regina Tisdale (Wayman) and Melissa Walker (Christian McBride) have been the Rock of Gibraltar for their bass-playing husbands. That bassists carry this level of stature and responsibility is fascinating. In baseball, former catchers dominate the managerial ranks primarily due to the perspective they have from being behind the plate. The whole game is in front of them day after day, night after night. They can see it all, take it in and become a better baseball leader.

Playing bass has some of the same qualities. Bassists usually stand in the back and their job is to coordinate the drums and the other members of the rhythm section. Doing so gives them a full view of what is happening on the bandstand, an opportunity not afforded to the other players. Being the foundation of a musical group is hard work, so the ladies who support those guys need to be strong as well.

Marcus Miller, Wayman Tisdale and Christian McBride have all served as hosts of our cruise programs, so I know firsthand how much they depended and relied upon their wives, not only for emotional support, but for logistics, tour information, song selection and, of course, wardrobe! Watching the interactions over the years has been fun.  

Perhaps the singular example of the power of their intervention was years ago when Wayman was hosting The Smooth Jazz Cruise. He was performing with his band when a woman jumped up, climbed on stage and tried to dance with Wayman. Truth be told, it was not as much a dance as it was a mating ritual. I felt a strong hand on my arm. I did not need to turn around.  I knew who it was and what I was being asked to do. I also knew that if I did not find a way to remove the woman from the show, the wrath of Regina would engulf me and set me on fire.

When the mission was accomplished, there were no “thank you’s” and no apologies. “This must never happen again” was the only message she offered. I adored that man and I thought that, with Regina, he could do anything. She was not able to care away his cancer however. Still as strong as ever, she has created a wonderful life and once again has shown how great musicians and great women can make almost anything happen.

By Michael Lazaroff, Executive Director of The Jazz Cruise, The Smooth Jazz Cruise, Chris Botti at Sea, Christian McBride’s World at Sea, Journey of Jazz, David Foster: The Hitman Cruise and Top Shelf Country Cruise. Feel free to express your views or pose questions to him at michael@scecruises.com.

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Kenny G….and Me

Kenny G’s show was wonderful. It was a holiday show based upon his 1994 megahit album, Miracles, which sold 13 million copies. Only two holiday albums have had more sales, one by Elvis Presley and one by Mariah Carey. Reaching those heights as an instrumentalist is amazing. Speaking of “amazing,” Kenny G earned a place in the Guinness Book of World Records in 1997 for playing the longest note ever recorded on a saxophone. Using circular breathing, Kenny G held an E-flat for 45 minutes and 47 seconds at J&R Music World in New York City. We will not ask him to repeat that feat on the ship!

Michael Lazaroff
Executive Director
Signature Cruise Experiences

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Oscar Peterson’s Around the World

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Berks Jazz Fest Announces Lineup

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Signature Cruise Experiences Programs